Respect is a value that we aspire to have in our lives as individuals. Whether we realize it or not, no matter the age, culture or gender, respect is a value that sits inside of us and transitions outwardly as confidence.  You must have a balance within yourself when you recognize that others respect you.  Too much flattery, without balance, can convert into high minded thinking and outwardly miss treat those people that you come in contact with.  Too little appreciation can easily turn into doubt of oneself. 

There is a strong character call “love” that fills the empty place in our lives as we interact with family members, love ones, friends and our spouses.  True love feels so good on the inside and it is easier to give love than what the amount of energy you have to muster up to hate someone or to be angry with someone.  There is a strong element that women need to feel the expression of love.  On the other spectrum, men need to feel respected.  We all need both, but I’m referring to the essence that has been instilled in us from the beginning of time.

It is very easy to point out faults and failures amongst others when things are not going well.  For any period of time being in a relationship, you will learn what pleases your mate and what will annoy them when you can’t have your way.  Husbands and wives learn their spouses’ behavior buttons over time and those buttons sometimes get pushed and feelings get hurt.  When this happens, there is a distance and discontent that come about in the marital closeness that was once there.  If prolonged without reconciliation, without an apology, resentment can form and begin to eat away at your marriage.

Pay attention to your words and be sure to remain aware of your negative, belittling and disrespectful words that you did not mean to say, but said out of anger, hurt or frustration.  When this happens, be man or woman enough to go back to your spouse and apologize for what you have said or done.  Then you rebuild again by making her feel like a queen or you make him feel like a king.  Be genuine and truthful and the trusting of their hearts will be strengthened even more than it was before.  The reverence of respect will keep you on the path of life with your spouse, which was so intended to be from the beginning. 

  Johnnie B. Sanders                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Husband and Wife for Life Writer/Speaker