www.husbandandwifeforlife.com

4 Ways to Know That You are Truly

Enjoying your Spouse Married-Couple-200x300

 

As responsibilities increase and the demands of your time seem to be never ending, life slowly becomes routine and sometimes a little less desirable. It’s easy during this time, to forget about the small things God has placed around you and the people that He gave you. Especially in your marriage, life can get so busy that you tend to neglect the most important part of your relationship, your spouse. You NEED your spouse to complete every area  in your marriage. It takes two to have a successful marriage. So, don’t let life get so busy, that you forget to enjoy the person God placed in your life. Here is 4 ways to truly know if you are enjoying your spouse:

1. When your spouse walks in the room, the entire atmosphere changes. The energy is magnifying. Including the smile on your face, everything inside of you radiates.

2. You are always looking for the next opportunity to be alone with them.

3. In public places you like to be sure they are noticed and you jump to the chance to introduce them to someone as your “husband” or “wife”.

4. When your spouse comes to you and wants to talk, everything else becomes less important.

If you are not experiencing the incredible qualities about your spouse, its time to re-prioritize, and say “NO” to some of the demands of your time so your spouse feels important and needed in the marriage. Your spouse is most important when it comes to the success of the marriage.

It’s easy to say, “I’m Sorry”, “I Love you”, “I won’t do it again”, or “I will do it tomorrow”, and move on about our day. BUT, empty promises only lead to empty marriages. Talk is more that just words. It holds a lot of value and love. Once love is discredited, it puts the entire marriage at risk and brings doubt and distrust into the relationship. Be truthful. Talk from your heart, but react with accountability.

Screen Shot 2015-07-04 at 12.56.44 AM

Laquilla Lane

A Moment Away

 

woman readingSunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and then……..again. You all know the drill. It’s the demands of life and routines that are set in place to fill in our already busy days.

Well, today was the first time in the house all by myself in a while. As I lay down with my notepad, I reflect on the importance of having time to myself. The quietness and still in the air gives me the opportunity to write out my thoughts, gain clarity of why I was put here on this earth, reflect on the blessings in my life, regain my energy, de-stress and relax. After my husband and I helped each other go through years of depression, I now fully understand the value of this moment away from work, church, friends, and even family. Through those low days, it was the “time outs” we both had to ourselves that helped us with the times we needed together.

One day, I woke up to find my husband still in bed with me. Normally, he would be at work but he turned to me and said that he called his boss to tell him that he wouldn’t be going in to work that day because he needed to re-focus his mind. I congratulated him for recognizing that he needed a “time out”, which is so hard to do since we all feel guilty about taking time for ourselves. Remembering the past years of struggles that we both faced, I quickly jumped at the opportunity to create a moment for him and only him. Sometimes that moment is all we need.

I decided to called a massage parlor and book an appointment for him.

I learned through our depression years that the time you spend with yourself is valuable and irreplaceable. It’s a sacred time for you to re-connect with YOU.

Let’s face it, we all want/need time to ourselves. If both spouses dedicated their time to and created a passion for learning and recognizing what the other spouse needed, and then fulfilled it, BOTH spouses would always have everything they need. In our situation, my husband needed time away. I honored him with that.

Honor your spouse. Learn about their needs and stress triggers. Be creative in finding ways that will give them an opportunity to be present in their own moment. They deserve it, and your marriage needs it.

 

written by: Laquilla Lane

 

HWFL-Banner

   Coming together in marriage is fulfilling Gods will and purpose. When two people come together in Gods will, they become one while bringing their God given purpose with them within the relationship. When He reveals purpose in one spouses’ life, the marriage gains purpose as well. One goal in marriage is to pray for and support each other to find and walk into their purpose for their life. Passion will help give you direction towards what that purpose is and it will motivate you until you receive the manifestation of your purpose. Purpose will help you fulfill hope and wealth for your future and your marriage.

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future” (Jeremiah 29:11).

      Many times spouses argue because of the miscommunication to each other about their passions and purpose. It is your job as a spouse to stay prayerful and ask God to reveal His purpose to you and to give your spouse their designed purpose as well. But….Get Ready! Once your spouses’ passion lines up with his/her purpose, you will notice a shift in your spouse and your marriage. There will be good time and not-so-good times, but they all will ultimately work together for the blessings God has placed over your marriage.

      Part of honoring God in your marriage means to support and push your spouse in fulfilling their purpose. Husbands and wives unite and align on their individual purposes and thus the purpose in marriage. Below are some tips from both Husband and Wife point of view to help your spouse walk in purpose!

 1. BE POSITIVE ABOUT HER IDEAS

      It’s hard to keep passion and purpose still. It will stir in your mind and spirit all day and all through the night. Your always thinking of new ideas and creating new concepts and it’s hard to turn it off. So, when your wife comes to you with what seems to be “another” idea or an “outrageous” concept, be positive, have faith and see light in what she is speaking. Fulfilling purpose requires thinking that will lift you out of your comfort zone and sometimes it will feel inconvenient and uncomfortable.

 2. KEEP HIM MOTIVATED ABOUT HIS PURPOSE

      Fulfilling a greater vision in life will bring times of frustration and failure. When your husband comes into this time, be his motivator. Husband are there to be the providers and to direct their family throughout life’s cycles. Making mistakes while fulfilling purpose can bring on doubt. Since he is born to lead, he can take mistakes as a spiritual and mental defeat. Keep him focused on Gods will for his life and the harvest of blessings waiting for him. Be creative and come to him with your own ideas on how you can help him overcome obstacles. This will reassure him that he’s not in it alone. Also, offer to lead prayer with him as night, pray for his faith and that God rewards his faith for successfully walking through trials. While he is down, this is the most important time to show your support, faith and love for what he believes in.

 3. CREATE AN ATMOSPHERE FOR HER TO DE-STRESS

     Too much stress can be a slow killer of your visions, mind and spirit. Your wife needs a normal level of stress to be able to operate in her purpose. Pay attention to times when your wife is over-extending herself to others or becoming frustrated over certain situations. Learn the things that she does to relax and unwind. Then, take the initiative to make those things available for her. Make it a priority to be sure she has access to her stress relievers.

 4. HIGHLIGHT HIS STRENGTHS TO MINIMIZE HIS WEAKNESSES

     To fulfill purpose it is important to know your strengths and how to utilize them. Get in tune with the areas your husband is the strongest in and expose them, Show him that his strengths are not in knowing everything, but in knowing how to use what he knows and choosing positives to overcome negatives. We all have weaknesses, negatives, and flaws, but they don’t need to have a spotlight. Our imperfections are all a part of our character, personality and ultimately our destiny.

 5. BE HER BIGGEST FAN

     Support goes beyond words alone. Support takes action. Be a part of her greatest journey, which is her God given purpose. Be her cheerleader! Go with her to meetings or appointment. Try your best to be present with her at social and networking functions. Make every effort to make it easy for her to meet deadlines. Talk about her faith walk to others and praise her for her courage to follow Gods purpose over her life. Don’t minimize the smallest victories. When she hits a goal, whether big or small, take the initiative to celebrate BIG!

 6. HAVE HIS BACK WHEN OTHERS DON’T GET IT

     While your husband works to fulfill the purpose in his life he will often come across people who don’t believe in his calling. Don’t allow others to minimize his purpose and passion. Back up what he believes and refrain from letting others think that you fall short in believing in his success. You are his backbone and God gave you to him to hold him straight up when others try to knock him down.

 

     The most important goal in marriage is to continue praying for each other and for what God has designed for each spouse to be. Prayer will be the most important seed when planting your purpose.

 “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.” (Matt. 18:20)

     Pray that God gives your spouse understanding about this purpose. Pray that He leads and guides them throughout their journey and pray for your spouse’s faith. When your spouse receives understanding and clarity, it will help them with the trials that may come up against and help you walk through it with them. Also, thank God for the blessings He has promised. He has perfectly designed your marriage and only He knows it’s greatest end.

 

 

Lane 14th Anniversary-Final Gallery-0004

 

Husband and Wife for Life Founders, 

Mark and Laquilla Lane

BREAK the ROUTINE in 2015!!
       

 

Routine2015   Creativity is a key essential in marriage. Don’t be afraid to do things together that are abnormal, out of the ordinary, different, out of your regular routine and spontaneous. Although there are key components to successful marriages that should be followed, outside of that, it is easy to get wrapped up in how a married couple “suppose” to interact or what they should be doing for each other. Your marriage is unique and special and you should treat each other as such.

         For 2015, commit to being creative. Think of new ideas that your spouse would have never thought you would think of. Treat your spouse to a year of something irregular, unusual, uncommon, or just plain out weird. Besides, who want to see and do the same things over, and over, and over and over again?  It’s those new things that create that needed spark, breaks that boring methodical, and helps you gain a new outlook on what your marriage is and what it can become.

        Don’t know where to begin or need ideas? Start with asking your spouse the kind of things he/she likes to do or the things that are really important to him/her. Write them down. This will give you an excellent base for your new commitment of creativity. Let this list become your inspiration to opening up your mind. Ideas can be as simple as asking your spouse to go on a walk with you to the ice cream store or wearing his/her favorite outfit. Or, as grand as flying your spouse on a weekend getaway to a place he/she has always wanted to go or instead of buying their favorite item…….you learn how to make it. Whatever you choose, always remember that the limit on creativity is endless. It is LIMITLESS. So, never think you have done it all. And, don’t make it hard. Any act of creativity, with thought and love, will never go unnoticed and unappreciated. But, you have to try. Start NOW!

Share your Acts Of Creativity (A.O.C.) on our Facebook and Twitter walls throughout the year!

 

Mark and Laquilla Lane

 
Celebrating 14 Years!

Even through our ups and downs……..LOVE has always won.

 

View More: http://zestzealphoto.pass.us/laneanniversary

“After we started dating, we talked often about the seriousness of being married. After we were engaged, we both agreed that we were in it for the long-haul. We knew we were meant for each other and that we wanted to grow old together.  Exactly one year after we met…..we were married.”

 


 

Husband and Wife for Life is one of the highlights of our life and marriage! We enjoy and are encouraged by watching marriages grow and be blessed! When we are not helping marriages, Mark works hard as a talented entertainment specialist and recruiter, and Laquilla is a stay-at-home/homeschooling mother of two girls. Our daily routine consists of quick texts back and forth during the day and quiet talks at night. With our busy schedules, we look forward to our time alone together….even if it is only for 10min.

View More: http://zestzealphoto.pass.us/laneanniversary


 

After our first girl was born, we suffered a stillborn baby girl during our 36th week of pregnancy. But, God has always been good to us and blessed us again with another gorgeous girl! One has a flare for fashion and other one has a love for shoes. But, it is their love for music that keeps us dancing as much as we can together as a family! It is the connecting link that runs through all of us.

20140915_112706

 20140915_112027


When we are not laughing with the girls, we are laughing with, or at, each other. We make laughing just as important as the romance in our marriage. The more we laugh……

View More: http://zestzealphoto.pass.us/laneanniversary

………the more we realize how much we love each other.

View More: http://zestzealphoto.pass.us/laneanniversary


And, although we love each other VERY much…….

Lane 14th Anniversary-Final Gallery-0010

when it comes to football season……we’re rivals!

Mark is from the east and Laquilla is from the south, so it gets pretty loud in our house on game day! We make it fun and get our girls in on the excitement. One daughter is a Cowboys fan and the other is a Giants fan.

Lane 14th Anniversary-Final Gallery-0009


We are lovers of family, life and helping people! We pull our motivation and inspiration from each other, God and the Husband and Wife for Life community of couples from all around the world. God is the center and foundation of our marriage and after our ups and many downs, we’ve learned to put our trust totally in Him.

We are so grateful to be celebrating 14 years of marriage with an incredible community of couples! And, we appreciate each and every one of you that has been placed in our life!

View More: http://zestzealphoto.pass.us/laneanniversary

Love, Mark and Laquilla Lane

Husband and Wife for Life Founders

 

851582_417171855069447_55288290_n Follow us on Instagram! www.Instagram.com/markandlaquillalane

Photos of Mark and Laquilla by Zest and Zeal Photography!

 

 

 

 

   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Ways to Successfully Communicate with your Spouse:

#1 Whatever the situation, always choose your words and your actions with love.

#2 Recognize that your spouses needs are more important than your wants. If your spouse needs it, your marriage needs it too.

#3 Replace your pride with humility.

#4 Bring your voice down. Screaming and yelling will only create more tension and frustration.

#5 Be open to seeing the situation from your spouses perspective.

#6 If you are having a hard time talking about it….don’t avoid it. Grab a pen and paper, and write out your thoughts. Give it to your spouse and pick a time to talk later.

 #7 Remember that your spouse is always more important than the situation.

#8 Always keep your lines of communication open by remaining approachable and being a great listener.

#9 Words can take seconds to say and sometimes years to heal. Choose them wisely.

#10 Remember that you are both different. That’s what makes you unique. Sometimes you will not think alike or agree with each other. And, it’s okay.

One way of rekindling the connection between you and your spouse is to stop nit-picking the “bad” things about them and to start observing and complimenting more of the good.

Enjoy your date nights. Leave past problems and issues out. Practice being present in the moment and be grateful for each other’s company

No one knows your marriage like you and your spouse. Trust God, yourself, your spouse and the decisions you make together.