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What To Do When Your Spouse Won’t Talk!

 

 

 

Couple Arguing

        Disagreements, disappointments and arguments can lead to times when you just want to be in separate rooms. Seems so much easier to not even look at each other, right? Well, with communication being one of the vital keys to a successful marriage, that can’t last for long. So, if you have a spouse that doesn’t want to talk or you may be having a hard time voicing your concerns because you are just too upset, it is very important to find a way to communicate. Don’t know what to do? Here are some very successful ways to get the communication going again in your marriage. Pick one, pick two, or go with them all…..but, you will be talking again after you try these!

 

  • Type an Email-  There have been times we also couldn’t even get a word out to each other, or could bare to even look at each other because we were so upset. But, what email does is to re-open the line of communication so that at least things can start to work through. This is also a way for both spouses to say what is on their mind in a quiet way (withOUT the sound of yelling, mumbling, or grunts of frustrations). Emailing is also a way to type out what your thinking really fast, then go back and edit those “not so nice” words before you hit the send button. Once the line of communication is back open, email back and forth until you both are ready to schedule a time to talk about it.

 

  • Send a Text-  Hey! This is 2015 right? We all have phones and use them religiously, so why not use what you already have? If you have something on your mind to say to your spouse and just can’t get it out to their face, a simple text could help. Remember, keep your texts respectful. You may be upset or remorseful, but voice yourself with class and dignity. Words can take seconds to say (or text), and years to heal.

 

  • Write a Letter- This is our absolute favorite! We have done this multiple times, through good and bad times, and it works. There is something about putting pencil to paper. It is the most personal touch you can do to re-opening the line of communication with each other. Take a piece of paper, sit in a quiet place and really think about what is bothering you or how to say your apologies. Don’t only think about your perspective, but think about the situation from the spouse’s perspective also (this creates a better letter that reflects change and maturity). Again, be wise and be respectful while writing. We want to re-open communication, not shut it back down. After you’re finished, write at the end that they can write a letter back or if they are ready, schedule a time to talk. Leave it where they can find it without you around.

 

  • Leave a Voicemail- A spouse not answering the phone can be so aggravating, right? Wait. Breathe. Don’t let it get the best of you, you get the best of it. Leave a voicemail. But before you do, be sure you are NOT “on edge” and extremely upset. Settle down a little first, before making this call again. If you are calling to apologize…..be sympathetic, sincere and sensitive to your spouse’s feelings. This is not always effective, but your marriage is always worth a try.

 

  • Post-It Notes- Quick and easy! Little notes left around the house can be effective and also romantic. “I’m Sorry for …………” or “I won’t do that again because I see how much it hurt you”……or even “You mean so much more……”, can be small ways to open up communication while adding a little love. Leave them posted on mirrors, refrigerators, closet doors, steering wheels….anywhere you know they will be found. Be creative, but also seriously considering the feelings of your spouse.

 

  • Give a Gift- Not always encouraged, but if this is your spouse’s love language, it could possibly work. Flowers or fruit baskets delivered to their job, or a small heart shaped pendant. Either way, gifts are always eye-catchy and most of the time accepted. Attach a small note to your gift to encourage a talk so that you can start to end any disagreement or disappointments.

 

Your marriage is worth every attempt to successful communication with your spouse. Let us know which way works or has worked for you!

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